by Joanne Apesos
10/29/2014

It’s late October and deadlines are looming for high school seniors.  Some may be in panic mode, while others are sitting back and letting their parents do the worrying for them.  Either way, for those procrastinating students who haven’t finished their personal essays, it’s time to get moving.  Waiting until the last possible moment to finalize the essay practically guarantees a sub-par, unpolished, forgettable essay.  A well-crafted essay takes many hours of planning, writing, editing, and revising.  (This is why we strongly encourage students to complete their essays over the summer before their busy senior year even begins.)

So what’s a desperate parent to do when their student is one of those procrastinators?  Nagging, threatening, and bribing probably haven’t been very effective methods up to now.  For some parents, it may be tempting to just get it done by writing it for them.  Do not succumb to this temptation!  Besides the obvious ethical issues, you can be sure that seasoned admissions people can spot a parent-written essay a mile away.  They know how students write and they know how parents write. They read each essay in the context of the transcript in front of them, listing past English grades as well as standardized test scores.  If there is a discrepancy, it’s going to be flagged.

But you can be a valuable source of support and encouragement while helping your high school senior write what may be the most important essay of his or her life up until now.  Be sure that they understand the importance of this essay and the fact that it can’t be whipped off in one hour at the computer.  One of the most important things you can do is to let your student know that you are available to brainstorm potential topics.  You may be able to think of something that they haven’t even considered.  Review the Common App essay prompts to get started, then encourage your student to start organizing and writing.  Later on, you can offer to read drafts and make suggestions for improving it.

Some things to keep in mind:

• You can’t choose a topic for them, even if you have the “perfect” idea. It has to be their decision and they have to be passionate and committed to it.
• Unsolicited advice isn’t helpful and can easily become counterproductive.
• You can’t write it for them, as tempting as it may be.  Teenagers write differently from adults and their individuality needs to come through.
• If asked, you can help with grammar and punctuation errors. You can make writing style suggestions, but be very careful of “whitewashing” the essay so much that it loses its unique style.
• Even though deadlines are looming, try to keep the pressure in check.  Nothing stifles creativity more effectively than stress.

Don’t be surprised if your son or daughter rejects your offers of help.  A well-done admissions essay is a very personal, sometimes emotional, piece of writing.  You need to respect the need for privacy and step back unless you are asked to assist.  Having said that, an outside reader is absolutely critical to an essay’s success.  A trusted teacher, professional editor, or admissions coach can offer invaluable suggestions to help students create an essay that showcases their exceptional qualities and helps them find a unique voice that speaks to their audience.

So be supportive, be encouraging, and—above all—be positive during these stressful months.  And if you’re lucky, your student may even let you read the finished essay.

Joanne Clary Apesos and Beth Brooks have assisted students with college essays for 10 years.  Beth has over twenty years experience in the college publishing field, working as a Developmental Editor, ghost writer, and copyeditor with authors at major universities across the country. She holds a B. A. with Distinction in English from Colby College, and has completed continuing education courses in publishing at Northeastern University.  Joanne holds a master’s degree in Higher Education from Columbia University and owns College Pursuits, a local college consulting business in town.  For more information email collegepursuits@gmail.com