by William Tucker
9/7/2017

For Me Staying clean is not an easy task, but it is a necessary one! As I am a single father with full custody of my son, And I also have a disability. I was injured in 1998 in a work related accident where I almost broke my back and needed emergency surgery. Immediately I was put on a new painkiller called "Oxycontin" I say new because it was just the beginning of an Epidemic in this country. I was already experienced in the use of Crack Cocaine but at this time I had been clean from it for a few years because I had met a woman I fell in love with and eventually ended up marrying. Anyway it took several months to recover from that first operation and was weened off the pain killers with no problems, until 2 years later I slipped at work in a refrigerated unit in the kitchen I was a sous chef in. I ended up with 2 more herniated disks and More Oxycontin.

This time it was different, I started to like the high I was getting from the pills. Fast forward to 2001 I ended up in a divorce and depressed so I found comfort once again in Crack, and I actually had money I had made from the settlement I was rewarded from the original accident. Well it didn't take long til that money was gone and I found myself alone, broke, and with an addiction I didn't want to stop. By this time it was late 2002 and I decided I had enough of living and tried to end it all in my basement. Fortunately a cousin was staying with me and heard what was my body crashing to the floor from the beam I had tried hanging from. Ambulance was called, and this was my first visit to a Psyche unit at the Salem Hospital. A couple days later I was moved over to Ad care hospital in Worcester for a 28 day stay.  Ended back at Ad care 2 more times in 2003 until I needed more surgery from yet more back issues.

This time instead of Oxycontin I was given a Pain patch to wear called Fentanyl. I was clean (Not abusing anything)  I met a new woman in 2004 and was in love! Ended up getting her pregnant and we broke up within the first Trimester I was Crushed but I found out she was doing cocaine while pregnant and she had no intentions of quitting. So anyway long story short, It was now 2006 when I was finally called by DCF and was given my son. I ended up being awarded custody but at this time I needed yet more surgery! I had been using the Fentanyl patch now for almost 3 years and after this last surgery I decided once I was recovered and since I now had my son I didn't want to use anything for pain except for maybe aspirin,

I found the nightmare of being "Dope sick" and a friend introduced me to Suboxone and I know what some opinions are but It helped me to get off the dope and the sickness of the Fentanyl withdrawal. Here it is 2017 and I have not had more than an Aspirin for my pain which has not even been that bad since 2007. My son is now 12 he has never seen me take a drink or a drug in his life and that I owe to him and My god.

William Tucker